Asian Heat

  ASIAN HEAT BOXED SET

  Stephen Leather

  * * *

  THE THREESOME

  THE ALPHABET GAME

  THE PREGNANT WIFE

  MASSAGE THERAPY

  CAT’S EYES

  THE HAT-TRICK

  THE THREESOME

  There’s an old Chinese proverb that goes something like ‘Be careful what you wish for because you might get it.’ I never really understood that because I always figured that if you got what you wished for then you’d be happy. Suppose you wished that you’d win the lottery and you did and you got five million quid, you’d be happy as a pig in shit, right? Or you’re a cyclist like that Bradley Wiggins guy and you wished that you’d win the Tour De France and you finally did, then that’s your dream coming true. But I got my wish and it ruined my life. Seriously. I lost my wife, I lost my house, and I lost my job. I’m on the dole and living back with my parents, which for a twenty-five-year old is pretty much as bad as it gets. And what did I wish for? A threesome. That’s all. I just wanted a threesome and I got what I wanted and I ruined my life.

  Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a random threesome that I was looking for. For a start I’m married, or at least I was married when I wanted the threesome. And I wanted my wife to be there. That was the plan. Me, my wife, and another girl. At the time it didn’t seem to be asking for much. I love my wife, she means everything to me, I just thought it might be fun to be in bed with her and another girl. It was a fantasy, that’s all. But the big mistake I made was turning that fantasy into reality.

  My name’s Jimmy, Jimmy Taylor, and like I said I’m twenty-five. My wife is Laura, and I’ve known her for twenty years. That’s right, twenty years. I was five when she moved in next door. She was four. We lived in Skegness, a seaside town on the Lincolnshire coast of the North Sea. Bloody cold, the sea is, but the beaches are great and it’s still a terrific place for a holiday. Skegness had the first ever Butlins holiday camp, way back in 1936. Not many people know that!

  This will make you laugh, I know. She was my first love, and my only love. She’s the only girl I’ve ever had sex with. Seriously. Laura and I used to hang out all the time as kids. We played dress up and made a tree house in her garden and we used to walk to school together, hand in hand. There are dozens of photographs of the two of us, like peas in a pod we were. In one I was kissing her on the cheek and she was grinning at the camera as if she knew that she’d won my heart. She was seven years old and I was eight.

  We grew apart once we hit our teens. I was in the Scouts and she had her own friends and for a few years we hardy saw each other and when we did we’d just nod or maybe say ‘hello’ and at school we’d pretty much ignore each other. I went through a spotty phase and she was incredibly gawky when she was thirteen and fourteen but everything changed when I hit sixteen and she was fifteen. I still remember it. Her dad ran a fish and chip shop close to the seafront and she worked there on Saturdays. I went in with my mum and Laura smiled at me and my heart turned a somersault. I swear to God, that’s what it felt like. I remember blushing and mumbling and my mum saw how embarrassed I was and teased me about it for days afterwards. Laura had blossomed, really blossomed. She had soft chestnut hair and blue eyes and the top few buttons of her overalls were open and I could see she had a really sexy cleavage. She caught me looking and that made me blush even more. Anyway, from that day on I used to wait until I saw her leaving the house and then I’d hurry out and walk to school with her. We’d talk and laugh and make silly jokes and one day I held her hand as we walked and from then on we were boyfriend-girlfriend.

  We didn’t have sex until she was sixteen. We talked about it and decided that it would be better to wait, and that we’d do it on her birthday. We did, too, in my bedroom, while mum was out at the shops. It was her first time and mine and although I had nothing to compare it with other than online pornography it was bloody good.

  We got married when I was eighteen, and her dad gave me a job working in the fish and chip shop. He retired a few years ago and gave the business to Laura and we made it a right little goldmine. Most of the turnover was in the summer months when Skegness is packed with tourists and we made so much money that we could shut up shop over the winter months and do some travelling.

  Now, here’s the thing. I loved Laura, she really was the love of my life. I never even looked at another woman. She was the girl I wanted to have children with and grow old with. That’s the God’s honest truth. But I had this fantasy of a threesome – her, me and another girl. It didn’t kick in until we’d been married for three years or so. And I don’t know what started it. But I just had this scenario in my head of me making love to Laura while she kissed another woman and the other woman touched her. It wasn’t even about me making love to the other woman, I just wanted her there, in the bed.

  I started watching threesomes on the internet at night when Laura was asleep. And often, when I was making love to her, I’d imagine that there was another girl in the bed with us. The thing is, Laura just wasn’t interested. Not that I asked her directly, of course. Sometimes after she’d had a few drinks I’d raise the subject of fantasies but hers was always about making love on a beach or on a train, never about threesomes.

  We used to go on holiday in Ibiza quite a lot during the winter months and while we were there we’d both take ecstasy. It was part of the whole Ibiza experience, dancing and popping E’s and staying up until dawn. There were plenty of single girls around and we’d dance with them, but even when she was loved up on ecstasy it was clear that Laura just wasn’t interested in taking it any further. I suppose I should have been satisfied with that – I had a young, sexy wife who didn’t want to share me, or herself, with anyone else. But it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted a threesome and as the years passed I wanted it more and more.

  To rub salt into the wound, three of my best mates all ended up having threesomes in the same week. Andy, Tim and Alex went to Thailand on what was supposed to be a golfing holiday even though they could barely play. When they got back they admitted that they’d only been on a golf course twice and that the rest of the time they’d been in go-go bars and massage parlours in a beach resort called Pattaya. Pattaya, they said, was packed with party girls, though the fact that they paid for most of the sex suggested to me that they were more like prostitutes. According to Andy, Tim and Alex sex was on tap twenty fours a day and the girls were stunning. And all three of them had taken part in threesomes, usually with girls they’d bar-fined. They had to explain what a barfine was – it seems that girls who dance in go-go bars can go out with customers if the customer pays a small fee, less than twenty quid. Then the customers pay the girl a bit extra on top of that. The girls were keen to go two at a time, and all three of my mates had taken them up on it.

  ‘It was like being in your own private porn movie,’ said Tim. ‘And if you wanted, they’d stay all night. They’d do anything, mate. Absolutely anything.’

  I was as jealous as hell but I tried not to show it. They gave me blow by blow details of what they’d been up to, and I’d just smiled and drunk my beer and wished that I’d been there. With Laura, of course. You see, that was the big difference between me and the three of them. They were only interested in the sex and it didn’t really matter who the girls were. Tim kept in touch with one of them but Andy couldn’t remember the names of any of the girls he’d been with. The whole point of my fantasy threesome was that Laura would be there with me.

  The lads all said that they’d be going back and tried to persuade me to go with them on a lads-only holiday. I tried to explain that I only wanted to go with Laura and they took the piss out of me something rotten, calling me a wimp and saying that I was pussy-whipped. It wasn’t about being whipp
ed, it was about being loved and being in love. If I was going to Thailand, I wanted Laura to be with me so that we could experience it together.

  After the lads told me about their adventures, I couldn’t get Thailand out of my mind and started looking at different Thai websites. I found one run by a guy called Stickman who explained all the sexual delights available in what they call the Land Of Smiles, and he confirmed what Andy, Tim and Alex had said – getting a threesome in Thailand was as easy as falling off a log. Stickman’s site was packed with advice on holidaying in Thailand and living there as an expat, and even offered his services as a private detective for guys who were having problems with their Thai girlfriends. Through him I learnt about amazing holiday destinations like Phuket, Pattaya and Ko Samui.

  Once I’d fully briefed myself, I began dropping a few hints to Laura and to my surprise she was quite keen. One of her girlfriends went to Thailand on her honeymoon and came back raving about it. We went to our regular travel agent and she fixed us up with a two-week holiday in February. She booked us two nights in Bangkok, followed by ten nights in Phuket and then two more nights in Bangkok before we flew back to the UK. The travel agent didn’t think Pattaya was the place for a young couple and that we’d have a better time in Phuket. I’d already checked out Phuket on Stickman’s website and according to him there were plenty of bars and party girls there, so that was fine with me. I didn’t have much of a plan, but at the back of my mind I thought that if Laura had a few drinks she might be open to a bit of experimenting with one of the local lasses. With hindsight, I realise how stupid that sounds.

  We paid for business class flights from Heathrow and booked a five-star hotel in Bangkok and a four-star resort in Phuket. Our fish and chip shop had done record business during the summer so Laura said that we should treat ourselves.

  We slept early on our first night in Bangkok. We arrived late in the afternoon and thought we’d have a nap before going out but we were so jet-lagged that we ended up sleeping twelve hours straight. The next day we spent doing regular tourist stuff – we went on a long-tailed boat on the river, walked around the Grand Palace, and went to an Indian tailor shop on Sukhumvit Road near our hotel to have some suits and dresses made to measure.

  I suggested to Laura that we hit the bars of Soi Cowboy on our second night. I’d read about the strip on Stickman’s website – a dozen or so go-go bars on a small road between Sukhumvit Soi 21 and 23. Laura wasn’t that impressed, I have to say, and to be honest neither was I. The bars were small and a bit grubby and while there were girls dancing naked, a lot of them were pretty average and quite a few had scars and stretch marks or were just plain overweight. There were a few stunners but most of them had silicon breasts and tattoos. We visited three or four bars but I didn’t see anyone that I’d want a threesome with.

  We did see some sexy shows in one of the bars – Sheba’s I think it was called – and that was good fun, especially a very erotic lesbian show that involved six girls and a lot of foam. Laura did seem interested in what was going on and after the show I called over one of the girls and bought her a drink. She sat next to Laura and they chatted away like old friends. Laura seemed fascinated by the girl – her name was Bee – and asked her about her family, her life, and why she was working in the bar. Bee said her father had run off when she was a toddler and she was working to support her mother and younger sister. Having read Stickman’s thoughts on the bars I was reasonably sure that Bee was being less than truthful but I didn’t say anything. I bought Bee a couple more drinks and tried to get Laura drunk too but didn’t have much joy on that front. Laura was clearly enjoying herself but I didn’t feel that there was any heat between her and Bee.

  We had fun, though. One of the things you can do in Sheba’s is to buy a bucketful of ping pong balls and throw them at the dancers. It sounds stupid, but the girls get twenty baht for every ball they can grab so it turns into a real free-for-all with naked girls scrambling everywhere. Laura made me buy a couple of buckets and she had me buy drinks for several of the girls.

  Back in the hotel room I asked her what she’d thought about the lesbian show and she’d just shrugged and said it had been okay but she thought the girls were faking it. I agreed, I figured they were only doing it for the money, the same as the girls who had been sitting next to male customers, rubbing their thighs and looking into their eyes and hanging on their every word. Again I’d been pre-warned by Stickman – bargirls are there for one reason – to earn money. And according to Stickman most of that money went to their Thai husbands or boyfriends.

  The next day, we flew to Phuket. The resort we had booked was superb, right next to a pristine beach and with great restaurants, but to be honest it wasn’t the best of holidays. Don’t get me wrong, the weather was terrific and the food was good, but Phuket was far more expensive than Skegness and it was as if everyone was out to con us. They had these van things called tuk-tuks that cost almost a fiver just to go a few hundred yards, and whenever you lay down on the beach people would come along and try to sell you crap that you didn’t want and they wouldn’t take no for an answer. At night we’d go bar-hopping and that was a pain too because a lot of the bars were outside and as you sat trying to enjoy a drink vendors would come up behind you and poke you in the ribs, trying to sell you fake watches or cigarettes or chewing gum. They were a right pain and no matter how many times you told them they would still come back a few hours later and poke you in the back.

  Like I said, the beaches were great but there were problems with tourists getting ripped off and beaten up. The guys who rented out jetskis had a scam going where when tourists returned them they’d claim the jetski had been damaged. We heard of an Aussie couple who were frog-marched to the ATM to withdraw twenty thousand baht to pay for a dent that the Aussies said was there when they rented the thing. The problem was that there were no cops to be seen and more than a dozen Thai men all getting very aggressive. Laura and I gave the jetskis a wide berth, it just wasn’t worth the risk.

  A few women were robbed while we were there, too. They’d be walking down the road and two guys would roar by on a motorbike and grab the bag. One woman was dragged for fifty feet down the road and was taken to hospital with half her skin missing. You don’t read about that sort of thing in the holiday brochures but everyone in Phuket was talking about how dangerous it was.

  The nightlife was fun, especially the beer bar scene. There were hundreds of small bars staffed by girls who’d play all sorts of silly games with the customers. They did that Connect Four game and a dice game where you have to throw two dice to get the numbers from one to twelve. And they had this weird game where you had to hammer nails into a slice of a tree. I know how stupid that sounds but it was actually really good fun. You put a six inch nail into the wood and then try to hit it down with as few blows as possible. Some of the girls were really expert at it and could get the head of the nail flush with the surface with just two whacks. It’s a lot harder than it sounds. The girls were great with Laura but it was obvious they were more interested in the single guys who came to the bars. For obvious reasons, I guess.

  The main bar area is around Bangla Road, not far from the sea. There are go-go bars and beer bars and nightclubs and I swear there must be thousands of hookers, most of them working in the bars. But here’s the thing – a hell of a lot of them are ladyboys. They look like women but they’re guys and most of them hadn’t had the operation so they still had the old block and tackle between their legs Laura thought they were freaks but I have to say that a lot of them were very sexy.

  We went out every night partying and had a great time, but no matter how pretty the girls were around us, Laura just didn’t seem interested. I’d sit with her and a stunning dancer and I’d buy them both drinks and put my arms around them but whenever I suggested the girl would probably be fun in the sack Laura would go all cold. At one point she asked me point blank if I wanted to have sex with one of the dancers and I had to laugh it off and s
ay no, I only wanted her. She asked me if I was sure and I knew that was a trap so I carried on making a joke of it and said that I was a one-woman man and she was the one woman for me. I knew if I’d said what I really wanted was a threesome she would have hit the roof.

  It was on our last night in Phuket that I met Billy. Billy was a long-time resident of Thailand. He was Scottish, and he’d been in the Army. Served in the Falklands , he said. Then he’d worked on oil rigs and then he’d been in the Gulf for a while and that’s when he’d first come to Thailand. Apparently a lot of oil workers in the Middle East fly to Thailand for a bit of R&R. Anyway, Laura had gotten a headache so she went back to the room while I stayed and had a few drinks with Billy. I know a lot of guys in that position would take the opportunity to fool around, but I didn’t. Sure I looked at the girls as they danced and I even chatted with them and bought them drinks. But when they asked if I wanted to go with them I’d just smile and show them my wedding ring.

  ‘But your wife not here,’ they’d say.

  I’d just smile and pat my heart and say ‘but she’s in here.’ I know how corny that sounds but, like I said, Laura is the love of my life. Though I suppose now I have to make that the past tense, right? She WAS the love of my life.

  Anyway, after a few beers with Billy, I told him about my threesome fantasy.

  He laughed out loud and slapped the table with the flat of his hand. ‘I’ve had dozens of threesomes, mate. Dozens. Foursomes, too. Went with five girls once.’

  I nearly choked on my beer when I heard that. Five?

  Billy told me that it had happened in a place called The Eden Club, in Bangkok, not far from Nana Plaza where I’d been with Laura before we flew to Phuket. Billy was there about ten years ago, and back then there was a downstairs bar where you got to drink with the girls, then you chose the girls you wanted and took them upstairs. The Eden Club specialised in threesomes, but you could take as many as you want. When it came time to make your choice, the girls lined up against a wall. There was a red line running from the ceiling to the floor about halfway down the wall and according to Billy the girls who stood to the left of the line would do anal and the girls on the right wouldn’t. Good to know, I suppose, but I’ve never been interested in that sort of thing. And I wouldn’t dream of suggesting it to Laura. She’d be horrified, I’m sure.